Ed's Circus
by PenguinBandit523
Summary: So Havoc and Mustang pay Ed an unexpected visit and find him dancing singing into a hairbrush.   Ohh blackmail, especially with the songs he sings. One Shot, sorry, it's non yaoi. I wanted to try Humor.


_**FMA Humor One-shot. Lol, though it'd be funny. Sorry if it's kinda vague, just use your imagination. Kay? Enjoy! **_

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It was a pretty normal day in HQ, although a certain colonel was a bit annoyed at a certain blond. He was taking his time trying to de-code the last report he had received from Ed. Apparently, it was impossible.

He gave a loud frustrated sigh… and at that moment Havoc decided to pay him a visit at his desk. "Hey Chief, what's the problem?" Havoc asked curiously.

"I can't read Fullmetal's damn handwriting, that's what!" Mustang rested his face in his hands, clearly annoyed. At this Havoc grinned.

"And what is stopping you from calling him…?"

"What makes you think I haven't tried?" Jean Havoc shrugged. "He didn't pick up… about six calls and still no answer."

Havoc seemed interested in a little snooping. "Let's pay him a visit then." Roy Mustang gave him a Don't-you-have-work-to-do look. Jean shot him back a so-do-you-but-are-you-actually-telling-me-you-Want-to face. Roy knew he had a point…

"Alright, let's pay Fullmetal a visit."

(Skip to at the Elric's dorm)

Jean and Roy stood outside the door. Were they just going to pop in? … After a few seconds of hesitation they entered silently. They didn't know just what they were expecting to find…

…until they saw what they saw. Oh how they wished for a video camera at that very moment.

Edward was standing in front of a mirror, with his long golden hair completely down, dancing to the ending of the song So Yesterday (By Hilary Duff) with a hairbrush in hand being used as a microphone.

_If it's over let it go and come tomorrow it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday I'm just a bird that's already flown away_

Ed was swinging his hips and moving his arms in gestures that pertain to the song…

_Laugh it off and let it go and when you wake up it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday, Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay…_

Ed continued until the song finished. But if Jean and Roy that was the best, then the next song to play would be out-of-this-world fantastic.

The next song that started to play had a strange beat in the beginning that the two couldn't place.

_There's only two types of people in the world, ones that entertain, and ones that observe, _

Singing into the hairbrush

_Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl, don't like the back seat gotta be first_

As the song started though, they quickly recognized it, and it took all of their will power not to burst out laughing once Ed started to dance to it.

_I'm like the ringleader I call the shots (Call the shots) I'm like a firecracker I make it hot, When I put on a show… _

Ed was striking 'fierce' and flirty poses. He took a small black hat off of the dresser and wore it like a symbol of authority as the ringleader part played, and snapped his fingers-imitating a certain flame alchemist for the fire cracker bid, and then proceeded to shake his hips and move his hands flirtatiously.

_I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins_

Put his arms out looking like he could actually feel something circulating inside him, and hovered them along his body from top to bottom

_Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break_

Both hands outstretched and pointing to himself above his head

_I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage, better be ready hope you feel the same_

Going lower with arms out to his sides moving fluently, Points seductively at an invisible 'person' in front of him.

_All eyes on me I'm the center of the ring just like a circus_

Ed points to himself, closes his eyes, and spins around on heal once and continues moving his feet apart and together while swaying and twisting his body.

_When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus_

Ed takes an imaginary whip and lashes it at the air, then strikes a pose with his feet apart slightly, and his rear and chest out.

_Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do_

Does this pull-his-body-with-an-invisible-rope motion **(A.N. : Like if you see the dance on Lucky star they have a similar move)** then backs back into original position.

_Everybody let go we can make a dance floor, just like a circus_

A small jump, a little hip swinging and ends with a come-here, beckoning hand motion while leaning back, and head up.

_There's only two types of guys out there, ones that can hang with me, and ones that are scared _

Rose 2 fingers, then one and pointed to himself, and then away from himself, more hip swinging.

_So baby I hope that you came prepared, _

An accusing finger at no one,

_I run a tight ship so beware_

Some arm and feet motions, and a wink

*Chorus and moves repeat themselves pretty much **(AN: but I'm too lazy to retype everything out)** *

_I'm like the ringleader I call the shots (Call the shots) I'm like a firecracker I make it hot, When I put on a show_

_I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins, Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break_

_I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage, better be ready hope you feel the same_

_All eyes on me I'm the center of the ring just like a circus, When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus, Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do, Everybody let go we can make a dance floor, just like a circus_

_Let's go_

Beckoning motion and arm and leg movement

_Let me see what you can do_

Jumping and swinging and twisting and turning **(I'll let you use your imagination)**

_I'm running this like-like-like a circus, Yeah, like a what? Like-like-like a circus_

Slow rocking of his body and upward arm movement, spinning on heal and outward direction of body parts.

*Chorus repeats and moves repeat again*

_All eyes on me I'm the center of the ring just like a circus, When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus, Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do, Everybody let go we can make a dance floor, just like a circus_

_All eyes on me I'm the center of the ring just like a circus, When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus, Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do, Everybody let go we can make a dance floor, just like a circus_

Edward ends with a small twirl and flirty pose.

By this point Roy and Jean just Couldn't take it anymore. They practically fell through the door and busted out laughing.

"Bravo, bravo Brittany Jr!" Havoc laughed and mock applauded.

Mustang pretty much collapsed, unable to speak with laughter. He couldn't get any actual words to come out it he tried.

Edward's face was tomato red, he couldn't speak either, only stare at the two.

After a few minutes the laughter died down, but Ed's embarrassment didn't. However his confusion rose 'Why the hell are they even here?'

"Gee Fullmetal, we really had no idea." Roy said, still chuckling in between his words. "Who knew… you had the music in you." Both Roy and Jean had still-struggling-not-to-laugh smirks on their faces.

"How long were you guys there?" Ed asked seriously.

"Um, at about '_If it's over let it go and come tomorrow it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday' … the last verse." _Jean answered. Roy snickered when Ed's jaw dropped. Letting them know that Ed couldn't deny this as a one-time thing.

"So how often Do you do this?" Roy asked curiously.

"None of your damn business, either of you!" Ed replied with a scowl. "What is it you wanted anyway?"

Those two having completely forgotten their original reason had to think it over, and quick before they look like stalkers.

"Um… Oh yeah, now I remember!" Jean yelled

"Yes we were coming to ask you about your report that I couldn't read, and couldn't ask you about over the phone because _someone_ didn't answer."

Ed's face became red again, and he whispered a comment.

"What was that Shorty?" Roy asked.

Ed cringed at the short comment, but surprisingly didn't let it affect him. "… The music was too loud… I couldn't hear it…" He mumbled a little louder, his eyes downcast.

Jean and Roy exchanged glances once more before once again busting into uncontrollable laughter.

"Geez kid," Havoc started "How long have you been at this?"

Edward just glared. "Just give me the damn report back, I'll write a new one right now if you just leave!"

"Actually," Roy said still shaking with laughter "You put me in a great mood. The report can wait…"

Ed just got pissed even more. He clapped his hands together…

Jean and Roy saw this and ran out the door. The door slammed after them.

Ed was now alone… he sighed in frustration. "They are never going to let me live this down."

Outside, where the other two were heading back to HQ, "You're never gonna let him live this down huh?" Jean asked Roy, grinning.

"Never…"

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_**Songs used: "So Yesterday" by Hilary Duff & "Circus" by Britney Spears. Tell me what you think. Reviews appreciated. ^^ **_


End file.
